Sunday, 30 December 2018

2019 GOALS



I'm one of those people that love to see the calendar change and I do like to use it as a mini fresh-start or an internal, "right, I'm gonna start over." type thing. It feels good and I think we shame people for doing it but often it's a really great way to trick your mind into thinking that something new is starting. I want to do a lot in 2019, but here are a few of the ones that I am prioritising for my health and happiness!

In the past few years, I have done numerous driving lessons! In 2013, then I stopped to go to uni. Again in 2018, and then I stopped. For various reasons, I just keep stopping and I end up wasting my money.

Right now, I live at home and work in London.... So to be honest, I'm just not motivated to drive right now because I know that I would be unlikely to buy a car and don't feel the need to drive where I live. If I need to go somewhere, there are 3+ cars in our family and my Mum or brother will just take me along to the shop with them when they go. Also, Aldi is right next to the train station where I live,  so grabbing food after work doesn't take much effort. I do want to get my licence though simply because I know that one day I will need a car. So 2019 is the year to do it...

I felt incredibly pressured to join a gym and attend fitness classes by my ex, who used to say that he didn't want a "fat girlfriend" -  I don't know why he thought that saying that would inspire me to go to the gym and feel even more self-conscious, but hey. I think 2019 might be the year that I attend a class.. even just once a week. When 95% of my day is spent sitting, I do want to feel more active! It's amazing how you are inspired to do things when someone stops telling you to do something constantly and belittling you if you don't. It's as if I'm making the decision for me, and not for someone else. It feels great.


This goes hand in hand with the post above, but I haven't quite felt myself since last year. It's really easy to slip into a shell of yourself when someone is continuously telling you that you're not slim enough for them. I think that now that situation is over, I'm finally realising exactly how I can heal and be happy in myself. Just be.

I have stretch marks (which I actually don't mind anymore).
A few spots.
And you know what, sometimes the ends of my hair are dry!

But I'm a real person with real feelings and I deserve love from someone that won't care about those things, but I think that it begins with yourself. The inner you. And in hand with that, changing something doesn't make you a bad person. I have plans to get lip fillers soon and I definitely want laser hair removal this year. Does that mean I hate my body? Am I less worthy because I choose to change something? I quite like the saying "You do you, gurl". If we want to hit the gym 4 times a week, cool. If we want to get 2ml filler on our cheekbones.. also cool! There isn't some special measurement ruler to being worthy of love and acceptance.


I won't lie, Instagram is getting me down a bit lately. My reach is lower than ever and I'm struggling to grow my following. And we wonder why people resort to bots. *eye roll* I know that we're all struggling but I think maybe it's my content. It's everywhere at the minute with no theme - but I find themes restrictive.. it's a catch 22. The most beautiful feeds are always ones of people who don't work 9-5 - and comparing their lovely 1pm daylight photos in coffee shops to your kinda messy selfie at 6:22pm outside the train station.. well, it's not as cute when you only have weekends to take nice photos - which is to be expected. When you work, it's difficult to get nice photos as you're busy 24/7, the lighting will be off and god forbid you get home after the tragic London commute and have to take flat-lays of eyeshadows. Trying not to get burnt out is hard... and I'm falling out of love with Instagram. 


My 2019 is going to include travel, meeting new friends, saving for a mortgage and moving on with my life in the best way I know how - blasting thank u, next by Ariana Grande.


What are your plans for 2019? 


Love,


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3 comments

  1. OK, I'll put aside all the rest and focus on the Instagram here for a bit. Don't ever let it put you down. Instagram is just a social media platform and nothing more. I get it you want followers and you're working on your content, but if you also have a job and 'normal life' responsibilities, it's normal that you'll struggle more. I'm following you and I love your content, especially the 3-in-a-row "theme".

    As for the rest, I hope to start driving again this year after 2 year pause (which is now just terrible).. Loving yourself should come first and I wish you luck with that. Also, I have stretch marks and I absolutely love mine (which everyone thinks is weird to love them as opposed to just accepting them, but I don't care) :D

    xo Honey - blog Royal Lifestyle - Twitter - Instagram

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  2. I’m joining you on learning to drive this year! I can’t live this bus life anymore, haha!
    Chloe X http://www.chloelxuise.com

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