Monday, 1 July 2019

WHAT I EXPECT WHEN I DATE A GUY


I expect a few things when I date someone. I've dated quite a lot of guys since being single and I could list the (sometimes funny) stories here, but that's for another blog post.

So here is my (non-exhaustive) list of what I expect when a guy wants to date me.

Be upfront
I had a guy ask to date me for a while and when I said "Okay, maybe" he told me that he had a child. Thanks... but no thanks. If you're in £6,000 of debt or a drug dealer, please drop me out. Thanks.

Pick me up
This is dependant on if it's a date with someone I know well or not - mostly I won't let a guy I haven't been speaking to for ages know where I live, but if we've been talking for a while then it's polite to offer to pick me up.

Chivalry
Honestly, you would be really shocked at the number of guys that won't even open a door for you. My ex-boyfriend used to be the rudest person ever, always taking the nicer seat and never even holding the door for me. I know now that I really just want a guy who is a bit more thoughtful toward me. Just open the bloody car door. It's that simple. Open the taxi door for me. Be caring. It's SO simple.

Communication
I was dating this guy and I had been seeing him on and off for a few months. I felt like he would ghost out for hours. He used to not reply for 3-5 hours but if I didn't reply for half an hour, he would send a sarcastic message about me 'ignoring' him. Nope. I expect decent communication and it should be healthy.... and most importantly fun and interesting conversation! I mean, you should really be excited to talk to me, dude. I don't expect you to sneak off to the toilet to send me messages at work, but I do expect a lunchtime message or some kind of thought into my day or what I'm doing.

Consistency
I'm not going to explain this one. Consistency. That's it.

Manners
I had a guy once ask me to go round his house and watch a movie. Twice. Like... honey.. Please. I'm a 23-year-old woman. Enough said.  It's safe to say that I did not give one care in the world when we stopped talking.

Pay for the date if you have asked me out
Ah, the age-old debate of women vs. men paying for date. In my experience, and as confirmed by my friend, who is, in fact, a male- if a guy likes you, he will not have an issue paying for your meal. If a guy rates you, he will want to show that he cares and that he wants to treat you. It's literally the science behind men. They want to impress a woman they want to date. It's that simple.

I really don't like the way some men will act like I'm there for the £15.95 paella and cocktail. I would probably rather be at home watching Greys Anatomy with some micro-chips, don't get it twisted. I can afford my own paella. But if you want to charge me for my small £22 worth of meal then please feel free. But it will change my opinion of you.

Appearance
No hats, no tracksuits, etc. Just dress nicely. It's that simple. Please, if you have asked me out, assume that I have taken some time to look nice for you, at least do the same back.

No sex talk
If you talk about anything remotely sexual in the early dating stages, I will instantly write you off. No need to expand.



So there it is. I might add to this later when another guy performs badly on a date.

But until then, those are the bare minimum requirements to date me.

Love always,

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Sunday, 21 April 2019

WHY I DON'T SEND PARAGRAPHS TO MEN ANYMORE

why i don't send men paragraphs angry texts relationship

Have you ever sent a paragraph to a guy? Out of anger, or upset, or frustration? Same. Many times.

When I was with my (quite frankly) abusive and cheating, ex-boyfriend, I found myself sending him paragraph after paragraph as to why he should treat me better over the year or so that we were together. I would say "why" and "my friends don't get treated like this" or "you're hurting me when you do this" and whatever else I could type through my tears or anger. And not once did he listen. He wasn't stupid, I mean, he was, but also he could clearly understand that he was hurting me when he constructed his replies, consisting of gaslighting or even just ignoring it or blocking me for 3 hours.

The thing is, men don't care. They are very aware of who they are, how they treat us, and the effort that they make. They're so aware that it actually hurts how blind we can sometimes be in terms of making excuses for them.

You know what the guy is doing when he skims over the dissertation you send? 
He's waiting for FIFA to load.

I recently found myself seeing a guy who never bothered to text me - I'm talking 6-10 hours between texts. I kept waiting for him to put some kind of effort in aside from texting the monkey emoji face or whatever else he sent me. I can't even recall any of his conversations because they were that boring. But yes, I did in fact almost call 999 to take me to A&E because my back was BREAKING from carrying the conversation.

The thing is, men can be confusing, I know this. When he is being great in person, but shitty over texts.. it's confusing and makes you angry. For me, I needed the communication that the man I was seeing previously wouldn't give me. He-llo. I want the attention. But alas. I won't settle and feel bad about wanting that from someone. If he is playing the game AND acting dumb when you point out an issue, just duck. Duck out so fast. Then date his Dad. (KIDDING)

I thought to myself in my previous situation, 'maybe I'm not doing XYZ or maybe I'm being too XYZ' .. but the truth is, men will make the effort if they want to be with you. I cut things off with the guy and stopped replying. It felt great. Honestly. It feels good to reclaim your time and just ghost outta there.

A year ago, I would have chased. Now? Nah. Goodbye hun.
But knowing your worth is important.

If a man hurts you, he knows what he has done. Unless he is blind, and can't see that he did, in fact, whack a pole into your head by accident, he knows.

I decided a while ago that I don't want to ever be someone that has to send a man a paragraph detailing why he should put in more effort or do the right thing by me. Because the right man will never have to be told. And honestly? Men hear you the first time. The right man will come correct and impress you. They won't play any kind of game.

I think it takes personal growth to get to this stage. I have been very naive to a man in the past, so when I date now, I try to weed out the guys who show red flags. Sometimes my male friend will say "wtf are you doing" 3 weeks before I realise myself which is quite cool. It's almost like guys know what guys are like. Magic.

Love always,
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Friday, 4 January 2019

PIXI GLOW-Y GOSSAMER DUOS

Pixi glow-y gossamer duo, pixi glowy gossamer duo,, pixi beauty, highlighter

Pixi Beauty, our OG, pretty-packaging favourite to post snaps of before all the millennial pink brands came along. Pixi have been providing us with not only cute shelfies, but good skin for a long time. The lesser raved about make-up is simply brilliant quality and best of all, provides cute packaging in a travel-friendly format, all at a good price point.

I received the Glow-y Gossamer Duos in a PR package a while ago and have been religiously using them ever since. The fact that it comes with two shades to mix and define for your desired intensity and undertone is awesome - but also, the size is the best part, as the shades are different enough to take away on holiday without bulking up your make-up bag. Highlighters are generally quite flashy in packaging and always bulky, so for travel, these Pixi duos are really not a bad choice!

A natural looking glow on skin
Silky and buttery formula
Ultra blendable



The Pixi make-up range is stocked by Cult Beauty, LookFantastic, and even ASOS, so no pesky customs fees or difficulty nabbing this on your next online shopping spree at lunchtime.

These offerings from Pixi provide the gorgeous 'lit from within' look that we all desire, and don't leave your face looking chalky or over-highlighted. If you're wanting a super obvious look, these aren't for you. They are buildable, but they are not blinding - which is a good thing, make no mistake! They do capture the light, but they won't look too much at your cousin's wedding or meeting your boyfriend's Mum. Is that a good way to explain it? Probably not... But it makes the most sense!

Do you have any make-up from Pixi?

Love,
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