Monday, 1 July 2019

WHAT I EXPECT WHEN I DATE A GUY


I expect a few things when I date someone. I've dated quite a lot of guys since being single and I could list the (sometimes funny) stories here, but that's for another blog post.

So here is my (non-exhaustive) list of what I expect when a guy wants to date me.

Be upfront

I had a guy ask to date me for a while and when I said "Okay, maybe" he told me that he had a child. Thanks... but no thanks. If you're in £6,000 of debt or a drug dealer, please drop me out. Thanks.

Pick me up
This is dependant on if it's a date with someone I know well or not - mostly I won't let a guy I haven't been speaking to for ages know where I live, but if we've been talking for a while then it's polite to offer to pick me up.

Chivalry
Honestly, you would be really shocked at the number of guys that won't even open a door for you. My ex-boyfriend used to be the rudest person ever, always taking the nicer seat and never even holding the door for me. I know now that I really just want a guy who is a bit more thoughtful toward me. Just open the bloody car door. It's that simple. Open the taxi door for me. Be caring. It's SO simple.

Communication
I was dating this guy and I had been seeing him on and off for a few months. I felt like he would ghost out for hours. He used to not reply for 3-5 hours but if I didn't reply for half an hour, he would send a sarcastic message about me 'ignoring' him. Nope. I expect decent communication and it should be healthy.... and most importantly fun and interesting conversation! I mean, you should really be excited to talk to me, dude. I don't expect you to sneak off to the toilet to send me messages at work, but I do expect a lunchtime message or some kind of thought into my day or what I'm doing.

Consistency
I'm not going to explain this one. Consistency. That's it.

Manners
I had a guy once ask me to go round his house and watch a movie. Twice. Like... honey.. Please. I'm a 23-year-old woman. Enough said.  It's safe to say that I did not give one care in the world when we stopped talking.

Pay for the date if you have asked me out
Ah, the age-old debate of women vs. men paying for date. In my experience, and as confirmed by my friend, who is, in fact, a male- if a guy likes you, he will not have an issue paying for your meal. If a guy rates you, he will want to show that he cares and that he wants to treat you. It's literally the science behind men. They want to impress a woman they want to date. It's that simple.

I really don't like the way some men will act like I'm there for the £15.95 paella and cocktail. I would probably rather be at home watching Greys Anatomy with some micro-chips, don't get it twisted. I can afford my own paella. But if you want to charge me for my small £22 worth of meal then please feel free. But it will change my opinion of you.

Appearance
No hats, no tracksuits, etc. Just dress nicely. It's that simple. Please, if you have asked me out, assume that I have taken some time to look nice for you, at least do the same back.

No sex talk
If you talk about anything remotely sexual in the early dating stages, I will instantly write you off. No need to expand.



So there it is. I might add to this later when another guy performs badly on a date.

But until then, those are the bare minimum requirements to date me.

Love always,

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